Winter Update

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On the drive home. (Jan 11 5:09 p.m.)

I’m sure you’ve all heard of the blizzard of 2016, the one that swept the East Coast of the United States, right?  Jonas?  Well, Maine got nothing.  It was kind of strange, actually, how the storm brushed almost precisely along the coast of the state but never made landfall.

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Things still froze over. (Jan 20 1:27 p.m.)

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Getting There

Warning: this is a bit long and raw.  Some unpleasant things are revealed, and not everyone agrees with the content.  If you’re only here for pictures, poetry or good writing, you’d best skip this.

So I wrote to my on-off therapist, and told him that I had a few breakthroughs since the last session with him, and would write a post in preparation to the revisit.  (I say on-off because the sessions cost money, and I’ve been slow to cooperate.)  Really, the ‘breakthroughs’ were discoveries considering a breakthrough is a major achievement, overcoming something an obstacle into action…

I also said to a friend that I’d write about my Asperger’s, so I’ll start there.
Continue reading Getting There

A Year In Photos: Inanimates

2015 was the first whole year I had a digital camera.  Some photos that year didn’t make it to the blog; so, to complete the picture (pun intended), I began a short Year In Photos series this month.

The first entry covered the winter months (beginning & end).  The second covered organics (plants & animals).  This third and last: the “inanimates.”  It’s going to be a bit lackluster in comparison because I got more shots of, well, life.  But the images are all at maximum resolution (click on an image for detail)—there’s that.

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Wooden porch railing hand rest. (June 25 6:23 p.m.)
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Coat hooks, outside therapist office (Aug. 3 2:54 p.m.)

Continue reading A Year In Photos: Inanimates

A Year In Photos: Plants and Animals

2015 was the first full year that I had a camera to work with, and some photos didn’t make it; so, to complete the picture (pun intended), I began a short Year In Photos series in January—broken into parts because there are too many in mind to put into one post.

So without further ado, part 2: organic life.

And nothing was more stunning in my vision than the HD flower photos. …Unfortunately, the camera app’s color tone setting is automatic (not optional)…

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Dandelion, driveway.  Good focus; not so good color accuracy. (May 16, 2015 4:19 p.m.)

Continue reading A Year In Photos: Plants and Animals

A Year In Photos: Winter, 2015

With the smartphone aunt J. sent me the November before last (quite liberating for a poor man), I finally had a digital camera to experiment and document with.  Not a great camera, but good enough in good light.

All of the photo posts (the majority in 2015) are accessible via the photography tag, of course.  I uploaded a few more, so here begins: a brief overview of 2015, plus little bits of history behind the photos, and those that didn’t make it for brevity, and not knowing where the heck to put them… and data limits.

An all-in-one would be kind of insane, so here is: part one: winter.
Continue reading A Year In Photos: Winter, 2015

Writing to no one

At this point I’m kind of devastated.

I couldn’t even face myself failing to fix a post, where I documented what could be described as a manic episode, and one that ventured into the subject of sincerity. (In other words, lower than low; it felt so important, but no.) I’ve had to process things in absence (from social media). I’ve had to discover, from a few articles and blogs, notably Lucky’s and The Happy Sensitive, that I have to get back to myself, in touch with my own feelings, and that one feeling doesn’t negate another; what I actually feel needs to be felt instead of making assumptions and avoiding it, or fantasizing about a better reality. I already have a few narcissistic traits; I can’t let let myself go or else I’ll run the risk of getting worse.
Continue reading Writing to no one

Christmas post

I’m sure you’re already tired of reading Christmas blogs. …Well, you’re going have to endure another, ’cause I need to document something for these past few weeks.  So here goes, a Christmas post for 2015.

It’s coming along. …Okay, it’s come and gone.  (Already off to a good start! :) )  The thing about I’ll get to it, I’ll get to it” while getting distracted by shiny objects is, no, you won’t get to it.

Like last year (and so close to last year, it’s scary), the mini-tree is up, or has been, with lights…
Continue reading Christmas post

PTSD

It’s amazing what the human brain is capable of. …And amazingly bad how sugar robs one’s energy.

Louise Fowler Speaks Up

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The following emails from Angela Stanton I wish to share with you. Angela has given me the go ahead to share this information with the hope that it will help someone else.  I have found it very helpful indeed.

Hi Louise,

Sorry for the delayed response but I caught a bug yesterday and was quite useless. Not that I am more useful when it comes to dyslexia. I do not believe that dyslexia is a learning disability the way it is defined. In other words it is not a lesser IQ representation. Some of the highest IQ people can be dyslexic. It is a cognitive brain disorder in which the part of the brain that translates the reading and translation of what you read into meaningful words or sentences is damaged. This part of the brain is not in the region that we use to make executive decisions with so…

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Thankful

What am I thankful for?

Hmm… Well, first, I’m thankful to even be alive, haha.

Even though I’m kind of without purpose and losing my mind, and still really, really need someone in my life, at least for culture, not just acquaintances… ‘Have family or die trying.’

But still, breathing and not a corpse.

Being poor, I’m thankful for a smartphone and internet access of some kind, so I can actually communicate any time of the day. :)

Though there are dead-zones at unspecified times of the day, and people appear less available than ever, so it can still feel like being Tom Hanks talking to a Wilson ball; not to mention the virtual buttons are permanently burned in to the AMOLED screen.  (Yes, burn-in will never go away despite the decline of CRTs.)

But still, some communication security. …If only I knew how to use the emergency line…

Chicken + stuffing = okay.
Chicken + stuffing = adequate.

I’m thankful to have a roof over my head…

Though parts of said roof had holes leading to massive water damage; the pest population is never zero, etc., etc.…

But still, not freezing or weathered to death.  (A relatively warm day today— that was a plus.)

I’m thankful for not living in a third-world country…

Even though it often feels like it when it’s hard to get any kind of medical attention until it’s too damn late, and job security for me is… sigh

But still, the potential to rise… not rising and it hurts like hell, but… potential.

…My god, I’m not thankful for being so depressing!

Be thankful you’re not living my life!

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No turkey, this year.  (Chicken.)

Hope you’re having a nice Thanksgiving Day. :) Show some actual gratitude in your home, despite Facebook… better yet, turn off all your devices for family time! …Aah, enduring family. :|