The difference five months makes. This is the trail that runs next to the house.
Last time on this blog, the area was covered in snow; now, it’s green with vegetation. Or, as one commenter put it: lush. This Monday, I was a bit annoyed with the stagnation in the house— being unable to deal with the squirrel that’s in our roof, for one; I stormed out.
I soon returned to grab the iPhone to take some pictures of the trail for the day.
So I managed to attend Saturday group. It seemed more welcoming this time around, and I responded to questions from across the room, though few. I know it doesn’t sound like much of an accomplishment to speak up, but it was better than not responding at all, which happened in a past month… probably last year.
God, so much time has passed so fast.
Time becomes a blur when you avoid the difficulties of the day. But I know time isn’t lost; the memories can become compartmentalized, harder to access when less involved or interconnected.
During break, virtually everyone left the room. Some walked outside; I did just that. It was an opportunity to get better, newer photos of the park area. Continue reading Ratfish→
I wish I could say I’ve been busy all week, but I haven’t. It rained, and there were a few thunderstorms. The rodent(s) in the house — particularly squirrels, given how loud and forceful they are — are sometimes eating, scratching away material in the ceiling (and I have footage and some lost sleep to prove it). I wrote a little, but mostly I felt sorry and empty for myself… What’s new? Lol. Continue reading The end… of a rainy work week→
As you all know, life can be tough. No matter what positive spin I put on it—and I am positive—life’s challenges are at best difficult. Yes, they provide the contrast helping me appreciate the good times, but still…
As I reflect on life over the years I’ve gathered tools that help me ease the burdens of life that are within my control. And more are within my control, and yours, than I once thought.
What I call the Four A’s: Accept, Allow, Adapt, and Adopt help make life easier in the areas under my control
Accept: Embracing What Is
Acceptance has been difficult for me. For much of my life, control was a dominant behavior. I controlled my emotions, often appearing aloof, when aloof is far from what I felt. I attempted to control my environment by working hard to make things the way I wanted them, then working even harder…
Nothing good happens at 2 in the morning… but here I am, a zombie. My sleep schedule is… not so much a schedule. But I am getting some sleep.
It’s hard to get anything done these days, tired in some way or another. And then… I have nothing to do. For days on end.
But that’s not true. There are still things I ought to take care of; I just hate being alone.
Life is tough, but it is never pointless. It’s going the same direction too far that winds up a dead end. I’m in need of interaction, and with substance, but I lack substance. Either everyone’s busy or I seem to mess up the equilibrium of things.
Nevertheless, it is officially summer in the U.S. And a mild summer so far, hitting maybe 84°F in the week, and getting down to the 60s at night. Continue reading Summer zombie→
I don’t know why people seek out fortune tellers. Why would you want to know the heartaches that lie ahead, the assurance that life will take your spouse and body and dreams?
He will be with his family tonight, Doctor, when he goes home, the deathless man says. Why should I tell him that tomorrow he is going to die? So that, on his last night with his family, he will mourn himself?…Suddenness. His life, as he is living it – well, and with love, with friends – and then suddenness. Believe me, Doctor, if your life ends in suddenness you will be glad it did, and if it does not you will wish it had.
Not me, I say. I do not do things, as you say, suddenly. I prepare, I think, I explain. ~ The one quotable text from Obreht’s The Tiger’s Wife I can’t recommend
Summer solstice is less than a week away, and my Friday was filled with rain. And I don’t mean crying when I say rain, even though I have plenty to cry about. I upgraded my mobile plan (more for less), and got back into programming, rewriting expansion sound in the console emulator… and my sleeping habits have turned to crap again. I didn’t quite feel like living yesterday morning. But enough about that.
Thanks to the magic of photography, you can virtually go back in time to when there were blue skies.
It was a thick cloudy day, Sunday, with some blues and rain earlier, and it’s looking to be a cloudy Monday… and I’m seeing rain. The above photo reflects the last mostly-blue day; so, mostly gray since.
There have been a few thunderstorms entering June. They tend to come when the temperature rises— something about the thermodynamics of it, as warmer air moves faster than cooler air; thunderstorms are after all, produced by unstable air, lift and water vapor.
Last Saturday, for sake of mental health, I left the house. It didn’t matter much where I went. I landed in Crescent Beach that day, and twice returned. Each time presented the opportunity to think about where things stand in life… and take newer, better photos. Long story short, I still have some sand in my shoes.