Well, it’s the last day of the year. I’ve had plenty of time to look back, and reflect, and… mostly I can only think of the problems I’m facing today. The whole year has gone by too fast. Progress is slow, and I’ve been sick lately. Thankfully, it’s not CovID.
Things moved faster when aunt J visited.
Decent restaurants were involved.
But that visit was only because things needed to be moved out of my mother’s storage unit. (My mother and J. are okay by the way.)
It’s harder to get a grip on things when it seems like everything is decaying too quickly, and you can’t catch up. One of my teeth is really in bad shape, so I’m definitely going to have to move faster, and work harder next year.
And then I hear we all lost Betty White. The legend. Just 18 days shy of 100. It takes the wind out of your sails, at least for a moment, when you see stars fall, lose role models, and hear about your friends losing loved ones. There have been a lot of funerals this year. My friend in Kentucky lost two… an awful year.
Addendum: It wasn’t just deaths either. I all but lost my mother to mental illness and/or mold-dementia earlier in the year. She’s alive but not at all the same person she was months prior—fragile, skin and bones, and can barely function or recall events. She may have lost her sense of taste or smell from CovID but doesn’t remember.
This pandemic isn’t endemic yet.
But to do nothing isn’t an option. Living in denial is not living at all. You must exercise or you start losing function. Continue reading A look back→
I’ve been away from posting here longer than ever this time. A whole season has passed. There are reasons… or some would call excuses. Not much progress has been made since, and I can’t get enough sleep these days. And most of the things that have happened are mundane or “this life is a lockdown” boring, or redundant from last year’s content, or low grade chaos like whenever the other client is childishly pissy… and I don’t just mean mad, but eliminating yellow where he shouldn’t… who wants to journal that? Sometimes life is shitty or uncomfortable, and can put you in a state of shock without much of a break.
That isn’t to say I don’t talk about my days. I do spend time with a close friend who lives in Kentucky. But I’m just so tired of the irresponsible behaviors of others that make it harder to sleep.
Of course, if I sat down and forced myself to write, even privately, I wouldn’t be taking up much of my alone time on YouTube. Learning and having fun isn’t bad, but balance is needed.
I have been writing down dreams I’ve had in sleep. And I’ve been updating software sometimes. Sometimes I’m updating a spreadsheet.
One of the events this year was when aunt J. came to visit… for the purpose of sorting through belongings from the old house— what goes to whom, and what’s salvageable. I noticed new mushrooms on the dirt lawn there. (Or maybe they were already there and I didn’t notice?)
What’s left of that house. So much time has passed that it has already been stripped and sold. Gone. There was so much water damage that it will be gutted if it already hasn’t been. That place is still the most familiar to me, at least in layout and furniture. Unfortunately, over time it became a “death trap” of mold, cold, and rotting wood— issues that became overwhelming to us, especially to my mother who lived in denial of accepting help, became anorexic, and had to be hospitalized. People thought 2020 was bad… it’s been an emotional ride this year, and not a good one. There was a lot of stuff to go through, just as there’s a lot of stuff to go through here in beginning to update the blog.
So…………………. I’ve been away from this blog for so long I don’t know what to do with it. Okay, maybe not that long. But long enough to see this new code-blocks rollout thing on my screen as I began to create this post. And it looks like the WordPress gods are trying to simplify the layout to the point that almost nothing’s on the screen. Copy from other websites like tumblr? Styles popup? Why not? It’s not what WordPress is supposed to be, that’s why not. It’s distracting in a different way: those popups are showing up over text I need to click on sometimes. But hey, the Classic Editor is still available, so here I am repairing finishing this post with that.
Why so many months away? The main cause of the delay: I’ve not had the focus and peace of mind to write. I mean, the other guy in this group household can make it difficult to rest or concentrate with his deeply spoiled nature. Anything worse than not knowing what to do with my life is being distracted by pointless noise. His willingness to have his way has gotten to the point he stole my old phone, treated it like his own (installed games et al), and then asked if he could have it. I got it back, but everything on it prior was erased. Years of history, gone. It confirmed my instincts were right to lock the door months ago. Getting the fuck away from him is a goal, pardon my language.
The second reason for the delay: I’ve been busy with the IT training. I’ve finished with online classes, and only final exams remain; the exams are scheduled at my choosing so, here I am dipping my foot into writing waters again.
I need to get those brain juices flowing.
Okay, so “brain juices flowing” sounds a bit weird, maybe like something out of a horror movie.
The pandemic changed what masks are featured on Halloween. It also added paper bags as the method of transport for candy.
Okay, so spring wasn’t all messy and bleak as previously stated. There were good parts and bad parts like any season. I can’t speak much for the progress of others… they have their privacy and/or blogs.
As for me, 2017 was the year I got an official ASD diagnosis. It remains to be seen as to whether state services will help my employment prospects.
At this point, the trees are practically bare (not counting the white stuff). But leading up to Thanksgiving (U.S.), there were still some reds on the trees.
The snow that appeared November 21 cleared enough by the next day; as you can see in the above pictures, it’s hard to tell that it snowed at all.
It was still cold enough that the large quartz heaters were set up outside the Tiqa Café. Not only that, but the people there were burning something. (I could smell it, and see a thin layer of smoke coming up in the center of the ‘seating area.’) Continue reading Fall update→
Frost advisories, yay. 😐 The estimated overnight low is 42°F (and colder in some parts). Still okay during the day— so far, I’ve braved the (moderate) climate, sporting a jacket only when there’s rain.
The decline in sunlight and heat hasn’t stopped all growth. Some flowers have held together… or even bloom, possibly.
These two stood out; I thought they were white, but on second glance I noticed a purplish tint to them.