Tag Archives: loss

Derailed

Every now and then, something happens that knocks us down.  We lose our place, our standing, and we are forced to re-evaluate our whole situation, and accept humility.  You work harder and make sacrifices or go home.  And I don’t have a home in which to return.

There have been so many things that have happened in recent memory that get me thinking, “had I’d known more, I would have done things differently.”

Red lights. (Dec 31 3:23 p.m.)

One week into 2022, it was already a shit year for me.  From the last post you could tell I wanted to rise and shine, and venture forward with my life, but I was set back quickly.

Even the turn of the year wasn’t great.  I missed my date with my close friend in Kentucky at the turn of midnight because I wanted meet a deadline with the previous post.  I was turning something I’d previously written into an NYE entry against the clock; and yes, it does takes me a long time to write and rewrite; my editing often goes past midnight.  With my OCD, I should have known that was going to happen.

But missing a date was nothing compared to what happened Wednesday. Continue reading Derailed

Castaway

Cancer fucking sucks.

This Castaway reference resonates with me a bit.  The old normal no longer exists… My circumstances are different, of course, living in a virtual prison with virtually no love.

‘Devastating’ is the term I’d put on it—losing a loved one.  Recovery for some is never-ending.  And those who haven’t gone through such loss of life, with emotional and spiritual investment/attachment, can’t really understand what it’s like.

But at least Rishi is on the side of hope.

(Note: comments here are closed; visit this person’s post for your thoughts.)

Musings on a grief journey

Castaway is one of my favorite movies. It touched me deeply the first time I watched it so many years ago. It was probably much before I got married. Today I remembered I had the DVD in my collection and I watched it again as I had another of those lonely Sunday evenings to survive.

Maybe it’s my grief stricken mind but I’m amazed at the parallels. I feel so much like Chuck Noland – marooned on an island with no one in sight. Cancer entered our happy life like the plane crash in the movie. It destroyed everything that was precious to me and left me to live.

I cannot be grateful that I have my son but he can’t rescue me from this island of grief. I’m alone here day or night. I have begun to lose track of time. Sometimes I see a light in the distance…

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