I’ve been away from posting here longer than ever this time. A whole season has passed. There are reasons… or some would call excuses. Not much progress has been made since, and I can’t get enough sleep these days. And most of the things that have happened are mundane or “this life is a lockdown” boring, or redundant from last year’s content, or low grade chaos like whenever the other client is childishly pissy… and I don’t just mean mad, but eliminating yellow where he shouldn’t… who wants to journal that? Sometimes life is shitty or uncomfortable, and can put you in a state of shock without much of a break.
That isn’t to say I don’t talk about my days. I do spend time with a close friend who lives in Kentucky. But I’m just so tired of the irresponsible behaviors of others that make it harder to sleep.
Of course, if I sat down and forced myself to write, even privately, I wouldn’t be taking up much of my alone time on YouTube. Learning and having fun isn’t bad, but balance is needed.
I have been writing down dreams I’ve had in sleep. And I’ve been updating software sometimes. Sometimes I’m updating a spreadsheet.
One of the events this year was when aunt J. came to visit… for the purpose of sorting through belongings from the old house— what goes to whom, and what’s salvageable. I noticed new mushrooms on the dirt lawn there. (Or maybe they were already there and I didn’t notice?)
What’s left of that house. So much time has passed that it has already been stripped and sold. Gone. There was so much water damage that it will be gutted if it already hasn’t been. That place is still the most familiar to me, at least in layout and furniture. Unfortunately, over time it became a “death trap” of mold, cold, and rotting wood— issues that became overwhelming to us, especially to my mother who lived in denial of accepting help, became anorexic, and had to be hospitalized. People thought 2020 was bad… it’s been an emotional ride this year, and not a good one. There was a lot of stuff to go through, just as there’s a lot of stuff to go through here in beginning to update the blog.
Years ago, I thought the house was in a condition that the state/town could condemn it, and I was right. I’ve declined to show photos of the interior throughout the years for more than privacy reasons; there was black mold on walls and ceilings; fiberglass was drooping from ceilings in the basement and then my mother’s room last year. (And she didn’t tell me.) Aunt J has done all she can to help, but my mother was and remains today mentally ill if not showing signs of dementia. I miss her in who she was.
So my mother, after her fall, unofficially lives in another state now.
I still have dreams set in the old house, but without the gunk and junk… almost like experiencing an alternate universe where nothing went wrong. But the reality is, as we have learned: the house wasn’t built to code and couldn’t handle what was thrown at it without expensive renovation. Nature consumed the home.
Matters in my life are better in some ways and worse in others. I was forced to move from Portland to a lower-class town where you can’t always tell if pops heard in the city are from firecrackers, car backfire or guns given stories in the news. And this new-but-old house is smaller with less sound insulation. And the issues with the people… I have to make a life on typically less sleep, more delays, less expectations… I can’t expect food or water to not be taken by a staff member without them asking. (And who steals whole salads or trail mix? And yes, theft is illegal.)
On the plus side, I got the CompTIA IT certification, and am slowly moving forward in vocational rehab. So there is a future. Even though it’s at a snail’s pace.
So, what’s out there? Surely there are good things around town beyond the mess, right??
And not just looking at flowers.
Even though May was full of purples. Late spring was remarkable in terms of blooming.
I’ve been all around town on foot, even going as far as a Walgreens miles away. But scenes like this one? Priceless, no matter where you live.
This building — half-covered in vines — just looked awesome.
But back to the city at large.
Biddeford may not be as nice-looking as Portland year-round, but it is the principle center of York County, jam-packed with lots of buildings. Main Street, pictured here, is loaded with stores and restaurants, and Senator Collins’ Biddeford office.
Yeah, the answer as to whether you’re allowed to fish in the river at Factory Island is a big “NO” with a big red circle and cross despite my witnessing and photographing people in boats with poles. (What’re those guys thinking? There are frickin’ rocks down there beneath the shallow waters.)
Of course, some things have changed since summer.
I see no leaves left on trees now, and downtown Biddeford is lit up for the holiday season.
Places that were dark are open for business. (Maybe Gloss recently opened as a new store?)
And some places never shut their doors but required ordering over phone, at least for a while, like Pizza by Alex, which does Greek-style pizza (cheddar in the cheese blend).
I haven’t fully processed everything that has happened since 2020… but going to a restaurant by myself is maturing, no? Portland Pie Co is great by the way. (And they sell more than pizza.)
The Cinemagic theater that my mother and I went to together since I moved had closed for good. But, it turns out, they were sold to Apple Cinemas, and the sites reopened under the new name… even if the logo looks like it’ll fly off with the wind.
The wind has been notoriously strong at times, rattling outside window panes. Christmas decorations have been knocked down from home to home already.
People are ready for the season… but is everyone ready for winter?
…And just as I was beginning to finish this post, it started to snow in accumulation for the first time this season.
About an inch so far. And some people don’t want to drive in that… One inch? Yeah, they’re not Mainers. 😉
Well, this post has gotten long enough. I have tons of pictures, so I ain’t done yet.
Until next time…