Tag Archives: support group

Paths undiscovered

(Nov 6 1:22 p.m.)
Intense colors. (Nov 6 1:22 p.m.)

There may be an infinite number of things we can do or ways to do them in life, but we only walk the paths we are ready to walk.  We are not meant to walk them all.  Or even see them all.

Sometimes we can become so buried in our work that we lose parts of the big picture.  We can busy ourselves to exhaustion or pretend to avoid confrontation or danger (such as having a smartphone in front of us, or earbuds in to bore others), or to avoid pain… But life isn’t meant to be lived in a bubble.  We are meant to feel, and do what scares us every now and then.  We aren’t ants or plants; we are human beings.

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(Nov 5 1:24 p.m.)

Now, if there’s anyone who’s lived under a rock, it’s me.  And I mean, I have nothing, nada, zip figured out from experience.  The main reason why I can’t really write a novel is because my own living story is so empty.  I am Exhibit A for someone who hasn’t done anything with his life.

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Going up?  Sorry, no. (Nov 5 4:51 p.m.)

However, since 2012, I have opened up to opportunity quite a bit. …Of course my methods have been awful as opportunity most always doesn’t return my calls.  I’ve been reaching out to strangers, sometimes with my heart on my sleeve.  Lots of failure.

(Nov 10 4:49 p.m.)
(Nov 10 4:49 p.m.)

Still, the people I’ve met these past four years have changed my life in ways big and small.  I’m trying new things, attempting to socialize more, even if the results are not great.  The Saturday group, for example— I learned things I couldn’t have possibly learned not going. Continue reading Paths undiscovered

Aspie Group

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(Oct 1 2:43 p.m.)

Oh, goody a category four hurricane on the east coast and Amber alerts on my phone.

Okay.  The Saturday group.  Yes.

It was the 1st of October… and I overslept.  My attendance almost didn’t happen because there is only one car, and my mother was ready to take off in said car when I woke up.  Talk about good timing. 😉 I reminded her that it was a drop-in group— that I could show at any time within the three official hours allotted to the meeting.

So I grabbed a bagel, and we were on our way… But before the drive, a neighborhood cat I mentioned before appeared out of nowhere.  It wasn’t black, so… a black cat did not cross my path.  It’s a little remarkable that I rarely see this cat at all, let alone ever have the chance to photograph it.

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(Oct 1 12:54 p.m.)

Okay, so none of the five shots were good.

Finding the building and room was faster and easier than the one on Thursday, where my coordination was a tad embarrassing— aiming to cross the street on foot leftward when the group had previously ventured right of the immediate area.

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Social break. (Oct 1 2:34 p.m.)

Needless to say, I was nervous about speaking for myself.  Heck, with Asperger’s, people can be uncomfortable about speaking, period; every member in this group is an Aspie, including the seasoned leaders, so there’s the risk that the whole room may go silent, lol.  Okay, so the group talked.  There was pizza.  And coffee.

Discussions included difficulties in the workplace: being stressed or put into precarious positions while being uncomfortable about speaking up, not being notified, not being told things in person out of “being nice,” and jealousy for sounding smart.  Beyond stigma, Aspies aren’t particularly happy about the political side of things, and would rather live with less B.S. in the world.  Amen.

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(Oct 1 2:37 p.m.)

There may be an implied rule to keep the attendance anonymous, but Kate Goldfield, whose writing has appeared in newspapers, may or may not have been there. 😉  And yes, she is an Aspie.  An Aspie from Maine.  She seems more conversationally open, with a bright sense of humor, though obviously nervous…

It’s not enough to know that the group means no harm.  Sensitivities, and thus anxieties can get the better of an Aspie.  The syndrome can be associated with high sensitivity to smells or loud noises.  For me, it’s mostly just the connecting with others; I can look into the eyes of animals, but not so much the eyes of people I’ve connected with.

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Fake. (Oct 1 2:37 p.m.)

Attending wasn’t without a few strange occurrences… There was a bit of dé jà vu once I was sitting, listening, under the spell that I might be fitting in.  Since I added my email to the events mailing list, the next day, after seeing 11:11 on the clock after I rose, I was notified of the two upcoming events: both have the same exact locations I attended during aunt J.’s visits!  A blog post or two is pending featuring one of them…

Well, I feel as if the Saturday group was more fitting than the smaller, “adult supervised” one on Thursday.  (And yes, I do feel incompetent.)  Meeting non-neurotypicals… maybe I can begin to make real-life friends as an adult? …Sigh.


If you’ve been diagnosed with Asperger’s and live in Maine, be sure to check out ASM online.

Godzilla vs. Barney the dinosaur

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(Sep 29 5:52 p.m.)

It’s been a relatively busy week for me— visiting three new locations in three days, the third only hours from now.  All of them in Maine.  I say ‘relatively’ because I’m unemployed.  But I’ve met five new people so far, and have been getting out of my “comfort zone.”  No reason for stress, though; it’s all family and support groups.

It’s kind of strange that the unrelated events occur two days apart from each other in sequence.  First, was aunt J.’s visit on Tuesday.  (Still processing all the over-ninety photos taken that day… not going to be a short post, I can tell you that!)  Then, a support group for people on the autism spectrum, Thursday… (I was diagnosed with Asperger’s, if you didn’t know.)  We walked for the day; the photo above was of a tree along the improvised path, since one person (probably the group leader) remarked of the ‘interesting’ bark.  The group was moving too fast for me to effectively take photos, but I got a few shots of hills, lol.  There were some dogs too… on the other side of the fence… something completely different.

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(Sep 29 6:00 p.m.)

If you’re wondering about the name of this post, well… the conversations entered Jurassic Park science, and approached Godzilla versus ____.  Including a Venus flytrap.  Which is dumb.  Because, as one member explained, the Venus flytrap is so delicate that it needs to be in the right climate and needs the right set of nutrients… hell, it’s so delicate you could kill one poking it; it’s suitable around flies.  But back to the point— Barney came up, and a thought came to me: Barney vs. Godzilla— a satire that the “dinosaur” wouldn’t behave very suitable for children.  The thing is I didn’t speak up. …And I realized why I didn’t exactly fit in.  But the social part I need.

I’ve adjusted a little to something of a morning schedule by the end of the week, in part to be there for my far away friend.  (Hopefully, I won’t prematurely say “bye” in the next phone call with her, lol.)  I’m not used to a morning schedule since high school, hence the lag in blogging; but any incentive to become more versatile and thus grow is a good thing.  In concept, anyway.

…Okay.  Time’s up.  Must turn in. …And so, I shall say: good night, dear readers. 🙂