Okay, so spring wasn’t all messy and bleak as previously stated. There were good parts and bad parts like any season. I can’t speak much for the progress of others… they have their privacy and/or blogs.
As for me, 2017 was the year I got an official ASD diagnosis. It remains to be seen as to whether state services will help my employment prospects.
So I’ve been falling behind on the blogging front again. I attribute it to the national news, the negativity and lack of confidence in my voice even though I have enough I’d like to say.
Gotta post some day, so here goes.
Last Saturday wasn’t particularly eventful… in Maine, I mean. I was invited to a BBQ, but declined because it entailed more sitting around doing nothing. It’s kind of funny because, despite not going, I saw tiki torches— something you’d see at barbecues— anyway, with the news. (Not much was funny about what happened in Virginia.)
Participation or no, I needed to get out of the house. And it goes without saying: most of the opportunities in life are not going to be online.
First stop… and without much choice (because I can’t drive): timely photos of Crescent Beach, and with the better camera. As you can see, the beach was populated. (With people.)
A park ranger at the entryway toll booth asked whether I was native to the state. Maine gets a fair amount of tourism.
I saw a few animals before I even put my feet onto pavement. (As always, click to enlarge a photo. …And sorry for the traces of bird poop on the windows.) Continue reading Summer update→
Half of the season is already over. (In the U.S., anyway.) And I checked, mathematically: the midpoint was August 7… at around 2 in the morning.
The yellowing is more apparent now in the second half.
To update you on things, I’m still having trouble sleeping. But I’ve had good days. Seven hours total this morning.
No squirrels in the ceiling so far, thank god. Maybe they finally “got it” that it’s not worth it. This one—above—barked at me; later, two barked at each other. And, on my daily walk, I hear little chipmunks hiding from me… into the cracks of the side of the house. Continue reading Midsummer vegetation→
Well, it’s one of those weekends. I got up early Saturday, and walked in the morning. My body said, maybe it’s best you go back to sleep. But I didn’t. I offered my support as someone to talk to… on twitter… and then the day went by, and I became the one who needed social engagement. I’m thinking about signing up on Reddit, but can’t think of a new screen name. There really isn’t anything I can do locally.
So. I might as well get into what happened Tuesday.
The day’s notes and events included fallen branches in the driveway… and the Senate’s first day trying to “skinny-repeal” the Affordable Care Act. (I’ll note that the law, what many on the right call “socialism” is the conservative version of legislation that has been taken to the floor for decades to finally pass. The proposed healthcare reforms under Nixon was more “liberal.” But I digress.)
Tuesday was a day scheduled to see the counselor. We went over the report aimed at enabling access to services regarding my disabilities, and the fun paperwork that entails. However, I didn’t tell him how I felt that morning. He knows about my sleeplessness, my isolation, but he doesn’t quite know how I’ve changed.
The day began with a bit of a breakdown. There’s a big difference between “this sucks, I need to do something” (where I tend to fall back into complacency), and… “I am broken.” Crying entered the conversation this week with N., my practitioner friend; she said she cries almost every day, to cleanse the heart and reset the emotional state. I did, briefly. I got only one more hour of sleep before departing.
About half of 3 p.m., my mother pulled into the parking lot for Crescent Beach. Troubles of the day aside, before me was the opportunity to get some summer photos.
The difference five months makes. This is the trail that runs next to the house.
Last time on this blog, the area was covered in snow; now, it’s green with vegetation. Or, as one commenter put it: lush. This Monday, I was a bit annoyed with the stagnation in the house— being unable to deal with the squirrel that’s in our roof, for one; I stormed out.
I soon returned to grab the iPhone to take some pictures of the trail for the day.
Nothing good happens at 2 in the morning… but here I am, a zombie. My sleep schedule is… not so much a schedule. But I am getting some sleep.
It’s hard to get anything done these days, tired in some way or another. And then… I have nothing to do. For days on end.
But that’s not true. There are still things I ought to take care of; I just hate being alone.
Life is tough, but it is never pointless. It’s going the same direction too far that winds up a dead end. I’m in need of interaction, and with substance, but I lack substance. Either everyone’s busy or I seem to mess up the equilibrium of things.
Nevertheless, it is officially summer in the U.S. And a mild summer so far, hitting maybe 84°F in the week, and getting down to the 60s at night. Continue reading Summer zombie→
Many of the ducks at Deering Oaks were wise to flee if I got anywhere close. Large beings… potential predators.
I watched some of the ducks fly from the hills to the water, gliding in as they landed, I guess using their legs as a source of friction to eventually stop.
According to Boreal Songbird Initiative, mallards (the “most abundant duck in the world”) are a member of the “dabbling duck group”— that is, they “feed by either tipping up or dabbling along the surface, capturing food and straining excess water through the lamellae (small boney tooth-like structures along the sides of its jaw).”
“When field feeding, Mallards generally feed around sunrise and again at sunset; however, in some instances, especially during a full moon, they will feed throughout the night. They will fly up to several kilometers to reach their feeding area, generally a crop field (e.g., corn, peas, barley).”
Friday the 16th was a full moon day… I thought I heard some voices or something outside the house when night fell. I couldn’t actually tell what the sounds were, to tell the truth. But back to the park… which wasn’t a crop field.
Last week of the season. More red leaves are showing up, and the temperatures are dropping with them, into the 40s F. At least where I live.
September 11 was not only the 15th anniversary for the worst day of terrorist attacks on U.S. soil, it was also a day of debris at home. Powerful winds and thunderstorms. Dark skies during the day, and, for some odd reason, the ground was dry in the afternoon.
Most of the greens are still mostly green. Maybe not quite verdant now, but in the green range.
And the digital lens on the smartphone camera is still too sensitive.
The flowers at USM Portland are still vibrant.
Yes, after months of virtual solitude, I finally got off the property. The main impetus: uploading large files because I don’t have inexpensive broadband at home. Unfortunately, no one seemed to appreciate what I uploaded… countless hours of fixing up music to sound much better, and… sigh, I guess I did it for me alone, then. (It was game level music, but still…)