Tag Archives: social media

Fall Closing In

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Underdeveloped pine cone… perhaps.  A bit sticky. (Aug 8 3:53 p.m.)

“School year is fast approaching.”

Time has run quickly this summer.  The whole year has moved so fast, especially the last four months.  Something of it being emotionally short for me… Fewer unique memories to link the timeline together, and less interaction overall.

On the second Wednesday this month, WordPress notified me with that little trophy, that this blog has been up for four years.  Which made it all the more ridiculous when I saw that the blog had gotten zero views in 48 hours. …It reminds me of the potential quantity over quality of adding posts just for the sake of the Congratulations, you hit another 100 milestone.  (This blog has also reached 400 in count, by the way. 😉 )

So… zero.  And not the first time. …Write “like no one is reading,” indeed.  Okay, enough blog navel-gazing.

2016 is quite a different year— much different.  Sometimes it has been in my face this year how messy real life is.  And I’m not talking merely of people baring their souls without makeup or “graphic content.”  I’ve seen some the limits of the world at large and small, and what it is to be human, and how natural it is.  Some of it’s beautiful.  But it is all very, very messy.

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A virtually hollow, roundish seed… perhaps. (Aug 6 4:48 p.m.)

Still, I don’t have nearly enough of the picture.  We’re all limited by our perceptions… But, for me— as the last time I’ve been off the property was maybe two months ago— the view is like impressions from afar..  I practically missed all of 2016.

That isn’t to say I’m alone in the practice of being absent.  There are times I’ve gone to twitter and found the most recent posting was several months ago… Life goes on.  But it hits me, being so out of the loop, and so out of life.

I used to write things down.  I used to get up, and live.  I used to dream.

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Mushroom before the porch, further decayed. (Aug 17 1:39 p.m.)

This year, I feel broken.  I put too much weight on being useful, and people have gone silent.  I’m so dependent.  I tried to get back into the loop— or “re-loop,” but it feels futile.  There isn’t much ‘relating,’ and not much to say on my end because nothing much is happening on my end.  And now it’s the 20th of August.

Time could blur in 2012, but still there was life.  Notable things happened in 2012.  Success may have been a pipe dream, but there was life.  Now I can’t help but think everything is dying. …Technically, I’d be right in a way— none of us are immortal.  We are born; we grow, peak, surrender and die.  But the culture… not looking good.

I miss sleep… proper sleep.  I’m forgetting things like never before— missing count of the passes in my walks, distracted by the “talks” in my head… ruminating, probably suppressing serious thought and memory for a bit of emotional comfort. …Of course, I can’t help but feel things that bring a smile to my face or heart when I think about one person in particular— whose appearance entering the year made 2016 unique. …And now she’s even farther away, geographically… going silent again, where I begin to think about what might have happened… trying not to worry.  She’s her own person, but… it can be hard to let go of someone you love.

Another slow day in a slow year, and I find myself rereading… backlogged emails on missed social media and old messages from a deleted account… emojis, broken pictures and the truncated text of email notifications.  And despite supposed good times, my broken contributions remind me of how empty and damaged I am as a person.  That isn’t at all to say the other is ‘perfect.’  Everyone lies— even your friends, at least to be nice. …Feeling used doesn’t feel nice.  (Hypothetically speaking.)

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Blackberries… or blackened wild raspberries? (Aug 20 6:13 p.m.)

…It’s been four years, and I still don’t quite have a voice.  So I kind of blew up, the first Saturday of AugustNo use pretending things are alright.

Some connections are all but gone, replaced with holes dug in not speaking up.  Trying not to harm or offend, or sound self-absorbed, the word count can go up significantly… cut down to virtual grunts… “Distractions” deleted, questions left unasked, and conversations are left in an awkward position.  Things just left there.  It’s awful.  It can even feel as if devaluing the other person, when the purpose was to protect or respect them.  Of course, part of editing is getting rid of inaccurate statements… which makes me sound like a liar that I even typed the words in the first place.

Add the perception of absence when someone is unable to speak (properly)… One or both people assume that they aren’t there or are uninterested… it can feel like a communication death spiral— where the connection is perpetually lost.

“Fools,” said I, “You do not know.”
Silence, like a cancer, grows.
The Sound of Silence

Silence really can be like a cancer.  I never had anyone to talk to— not really— in-depth and uncensored… which makes my ‘experience’ easily overwhelming.  That’s why I’m damaged, ultimately.  An example of someone who wasn’t lucky enough to have people in his life, friendly or not.  Forget loneliness— the absence of others can make you feel worthless.

…It works both ways, of course.  I’m not special.  I’ve come across people that have found themselves “unworthy” or “dying inside.”  I can empathize, first hand.  You know you can talk to me, I would think.  But I say nothing, unable to articulate “the right words.”  Would it benefit him if I spoke up?  She turned down talking to me before; why would she talk now? …I’m too toxic.  I’m too immature.  I keep to myself, partly out of “respect.”

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Yellowing of the season. (Aug 20 6:11 p.m.)

…Anyway.  It’s been four years on WordPress.  I don’t even want to begin to think about another four… so much backlog of words.  I’m surprised I’ve survived this far. 😉

…And to anyone reading this who feels horribly alone: you can talk to me.

Okay, so it IS worse than I thought…

After taking a break from the often-lifesuck that is twitter, I thought I could spend the rest of the week getting back into the creative flow— back into writing, fiction, therapy, whatever.  But no, recent news had to suck the life out of the room.

Now, what am I talking about?  Censorship.  It’s getting worse in social media.  It’s gotten to the point that police in Western countries are arresting people for comments on Facebook.  Yes, in so-called First World countries.

In the United Kingdom, you can and will be arrested for speech out of step with the Communications Act.  Today, it may be over ugly speech, in regards to Syria and the migrant crisis, tomorrow, who knows.  That’s the disorder of censorship: it’s evil, and people who believe in free speech must not tolerate it.

I disapprove of what you say,
but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
Evelyn Beatrice HallThe Friends of Voltaire

Twitter, however, is willing to find ways to censor anyway.  It is, in fact, blacklisting accounts, with political bias, and at the same time apparently ‘whitelisting’ accounts it approves of.  It’s done in the form of “shadow-banning”: silent, that people don’t even know that their tweets are not showing up in others’ feeds.
Continue reading Okay, so it IS worse than I thought…

Taking a break from a possibly broken twitter…

(Image source: businessesgrow.com)

If things couldn’t get any worse in regards to the micro-blogging site, with the regular myopic social media outrage (recently, over one inside-joke, Stephen Fry deactivated his account…again), unpopular feature changes, and… overreaction to said feature changes… “Twitter is turning into Facebook!”

The user base is dropping… slightly.  And some news websites are calling it: dead; flatline.  But these kind of news sites have been saying ‘twitter is dying’ for years.

In the attempt to get the company moving ‘up’ again, in other words more attractive to advertisers in competition to other social media platforms (advertisers are still attracted to twitter anyway), they brought back Jack Dorsey, thinking if they acted like Apple Computer, Inc. (when they reinstated Steve Jobs), things would improve.  Think Differently.

Even I got on the #RIPTwitter bandwagon over the new changes.  That is, until I actually read about the changes twitter planned to make Continue reading Taking a break from a possibly broken twitter…

Barking up the wrong tree

“Jesus Christ, am I your friend or your enemy?!”

[tree bark]
Uhhh… I’m a tree.
Relationships are messy.  They’re a part of life, and you will be tested… naturally.  The internet, however, being as it is a global network of computers, isn’t natural.

Long ago, I thought communicating online could be the solution to my difficulty of communicating in real life, being brought up in isolation.  A window of opportunity, a way to soul-search, witnessing personal accounts of friendships that began online, an outlet of productive activity, etc., where I would otherwise have the, well, void.

…Boy was I wrong.  Dead wrong.  Keep your day job. Continue reading Barking up the wrong tree

Suck It Up

Okay, so I have to answer to Notifications.  I still feel like I die a little with them, but I have to suck it up.  It just sucks that blogging is only as social as much as people put out, the way people have to tell you what they want or Do Not Disturb.  And if I’m not clear or don’t know what I actually want, I’m screwed.  I’m always screwed.

Ever since Why Bother, I’ve been thinking about how great Xanga must have been, with vibrant communities, or at least people eager to understand each other.  It predated Facebook (launched 2004) and WordPress (2003).  But…platforms die.

People will flock to the better choice. …Or find themselves forced to join a site over popularity (*cough*  1.3 billion *cough*), and because people you know have left their previous home.

“My…Space?  What is MySpace?”

Maybe if Google didn’t come up with weird names, like Circles, Google+ would’ve lived longer. …Well…it hasn’t died just yet.  As Wired put it:

Google+ as we knew it is dead, but Google is still a social network

The company is, however, giving up on Chrome.

As Android 4.0 (Ice Cream Sandwich) approaches four years old, Google has announced today [March 3] it will no longer release updates for Chrome on the operating system.

*bursts out laughing*  😀 Ice Cream Sandwich!  Oh—I swear, it’s the first time I heard the code name…

Sigh. …But yeah, change is hard.  When you’ve invested yourself into something you’ve worked hard for.  When you lose a part of your youth moving forward.  When something or someone dies.  But ultimately, change is hard when you don’t know how to effectively change.  Especially when you don’t have any support.

And how to change, in a social media spread thin…

In my experience, the only thing effective action in moving forward is to work at your passion, and to trust your gut on making choices, find true friends & loves…and leave Facebook as soon as you freaking can if you want to keep your sanity. …Then again, I may be insane.

Whatever.  Whatever!  Suck it up, me; suck it up.  Get back to life.  Because, the only thing wrong I can do in blogging is try too hard.  (That, and violating actual rules.)

…And whatever you do, don’t say “blow chunks” on twitter.

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It was just a joke! — Social Media and PTSD

This New York Times article by Jon Ronson, published 2015.02.15 is a must-read.  It is proof, with evidence dating back centuries, and multiple traumatic stories, that public shaming is a never-ending monster.  And it doesn’t always come in the form that we consider “bullying.”

It also shows that bad intentions come back to haunt you, as Sam Biddle, the guy who picked up the ‘offending’ tweet, got publicly shamed for one of his own.

Demonizing individuals will never fix an issue.  Getting revenge will not solve anything.  Just leave a bad joke alone, people.  And certainly don’t send death threats, victim or aggressor.  You too will get your just desserts, so remember to love people first!

I found it via Seth MacFarlane, who tweeted, “Ironic that this comes from an online press source, who are all too often complicit, but a must-read for all anyway.”

How One Stupid Tweet Blew Up Justine Sacco’s Life

Photo illustration by Andrew B. Myers. Prop stylist: Sonia Rentsch.

As she made the long journey from New York to South Africa, to visit family during the holidays in 2013, Justine Sacco, 30 years old and the senior director of corporate communications at IAC, began tweeting acerbic little jokes about the indignities of travel. …

Read the full article here.

The hardest part of blogging: blogging

Heh, this kid looks much like me when I was ‘wee.’
Image source: dumpaday.com

If you’re an early morning person like me, someone who tends to be up during the ‘wee’ hours, you know how quiet it gets.  And then I find myself overwhelmed by the reader in the afternoon if I sleep through 10 a.m. Continue reading The hardest part of blogging: blogging