Tag Archives: OCD

Sleep, I barely know thee

Add September 8 to the list of days I’ve held off sleep.

Sleep and exercise— what my therapist (or counselor, whichever; haven’t seen him in a long time) told me to work on… The sleep?  Not only have I reverted— sleeping late in the morning, but to a degree I’ve stopped caring.  (I should care.)  Exercise?  My exercise, for months, has rested (ha) entirely on the length of the driveway. (Repeatedly.)  My bad sleeping habits are the larger problem to face because of the importance of a working schedule… and health.  So I’ll write about my obstacles on sleep.

Not much interferes, actually.  I don’t have any allergies.  (My nose can be stuffed up, though.)  Possible doom in the world doesn’t keep me up at night.

Comfort in thought has made me a bit lazy.  My far away friend makes me happy just thinking about her, and… sometimes I spend too much time thinking about her.  I finally got around to writing something on the matter… but getting my flawed writing to work properly is another matter.

Apart from medical issues (which interfere with being able to stay asleep), what ultimately keeps me from going to bed is lack of resolution.  Sometimes I just have to see something through, even if I have no control.  Accomplishing something in the day, catching up… and misunderstandings.

Oh, there’s nothing like the feeling you are losing your mind.

As anyone knows, it can be hard to convey tone in a written message.  In my case, people can take a lack of eloquence in my normal written voice as something to be taken personally, and so I keep managing to scare or tire people away.  People can be overly nice in refraining from asking questions, and I can be overly nice in accepting more distance.  Assumptions run the risk of taking things for granted, so perhaps we should carve out space to be blunt, and shamelessly ask for the sake of clarity?

Nevertheless, sometimes there’s nothing you can do after something snowballs, except be clear and concise when someone… asks a question.

What kept me up all day Thursday was the Story Full of Sh*t (or SFS) that will impact Gary Johnson’s campaign, in good ways and bad.  Even the quote “What is Aleppo?” is false.  I’m so sick of the echo chamber, and yet I made the mistake of staying up over 24 hours total to see how many news outlets would care to accurately cover the story.  Almost none did. …And to think, it originated with the kill-me-now-it’s-like-watching-paint-dry Morning Joe show.

The good news is that more people know about Johnson.  The bad news is “What is Aleppo?” spread everywhere as if he had no clue about the on-going civil war in Syria.  The latest chlorine gassing of civilians made it clear that Bashar Al-Assad doesn’t much care about the people outside the mainland, and the people who don’t much care about quality of information made jokes and memes about Johnson.  Look at this pothead.  (Gary stopped ‘using’ marijuana ages ago, as well as drinking, because it interfered with his athletics.  FYI.)  One “news” outlet asked: Are you smarter than Gary Johnson?  And, Is Mitt Romney regretting his tweet?  (Even a non-endorsement tweet in the reactive coverage was supposedly bad news.)

“I hope voters get to see former GOP Governors Gary Johnson and Bill Weld on the debate stages this fall.” — Mitt Romney, Sep 7.

Libertarians were again called isolationists and ignorant on matters of foreign policy.  It’s great in a civics class, but in real life…  Yeah, in real life, civil libertarians have done a lot of thankless good in protecting the rights of Americans.

It is unfair to think that the Commander In Chief is supposed to know absolutely every name on the map or read every newspaper.  We’re not hiring an Encyclopedia.  The U.S. President does not assume all power nor all responsibility of information.  The brain power in the room always consists of multiple people, where the Commander In Chief would ask his staff questions when necessary.

Today’s demands are met with questionable standards and hypocrisy, so is it any wonder that so many people have lost sense of things?

I began my day by setting aside any doubt that I’m human.” —Johnson

The truth was made pretty clear on Your World w/ Neil Cavuto (where Neil has returned from vacation) that not only did Gary know about Syria, he kept going into policy on the matter.  He was brief on saying the current administration exacerbated things, and stressed that matters of terrorism are very complex, adding that the void would be filled if one group was destroyed.  (Tell me that’s not true.)  And unlike most politicians, he honorably blamed no one but himself for his on-air mistake, early on.

But, as mentioned before, the facts don’t make the headlines; in the list of interests that drive a story to be covered and repeated, quality in truth can easily get lost.

“A lie will go round the world while truth is pulling its boots on.” — proverb, “Spurgeon’s Gems”

(Even this quote or variations thereof is falsely credited to Mark Twain in 1919; he died in 1910.)

Johnson actually asked “What is a Leppo?”  But will corrections be made?  What can we expect when The New York Times, in answering “What is Aleppo?”, had to correct itself twice?  (They didn’t even get the capital of Syria right.)

Now, if you’re wondering, will his gaffe change my vote, the answer is: no.  It’s a superficial story.  It’s substantive articles that make me think.

So over the past two days there was a lot of channel surfing on something that kind of went nowhere.  The coverage this morning has been better… when far fewer people are watching.

…Well, it’s Saturday— which gives me the perfect opportunity to sleep in.

Christmas post

I’m sure you’re already tired of reading Christmas blogs. …Well, you’re going have to endure another, ’cause I need to document something for these past few weeks.  So here goes, a Christmas post for 2015.

It’s coming along. …Okay, it’s come and gone.  (Already off to a good start! 🙂 )  The thing about I’ll get to it, I’ll get to it” while getting distracted by shiny objects is, no, you won’t get to it.

Like last year (and so close to last year, it’s scary), the mini-tree is up, or has been, with lights…
Continue reading Christmas post

I don’t want to die alone.  There, I said it.

Finally.  And it only took several days of drafts for other things that eventually got scrapped to reach this point.

Yeah, yeah— I know most people would say they don’t want to die alone either.

…Should I say more?

It’s been over a year since I kicked off a larger presence, and… emotionally “cratered” over how I saw myself, and faced a near-black hole of aloneness.

Continue reading I don’t want to die alone.  There, I said it.