Tag Archives: gratitude

Nothing Lasts Forever

So I’ll be taking a break from blogging, not that I want to.  You see, the Internet Service Provider is more expensive than need be, and the last payment wasn’t enough for all the new demands.  No, this is not a lame excuse as part of that list I crapfted yesterday, this deals with a real issue.

It’s been only four months that I’ve had any-time internet access in my life.  Only four months, since November 11th, via the phone.  I also saw in those first days just how slow it was using it.  It took hours to get “TV Fanfare!” up.  And it was truncated; the virtual keypad was used to retype something already written.  I could’ve transferred the blah via USB but didn’t know that then.  (Can you imagine typing 5,000 characters on a virtual keypad?  And without two days of experience?)

IdidNOTpressTHATAnd just how agonizingly expensive mobile data is—I was in a panic, setting my own limits.  This method of access is discouraging, to say the least, on top of an already discouraging living experience.

So many things…so many things that, to the average person, “simple,” “easy,” are hard here.  But it was a good thing, in a way, that I didn’t retype some vulgar jokes in the process of getting TV Fanfare! up.  (Detectives Bullock & Dix in Gotham, too easy.)

Sure, there was home access before…that time in the late ’90s—a land-line ISP…via modem.  You know, dial-up, voicing that annoying noise to make it clear it was connecting?  And not even 56Kbps; 28.8—under 4 KB a second.  Mobile access may be unreliable at times, but it’s never been that bad.

AOLAnd AOL.  Even as a child, I ended up choosing AOL’s basic web browser.  Ooh, I got some rad HyperCard stuff and a cool, non-animated X-Files GIF there…

Difficult as things are these days, I’ve still taken things for granted.  We all have our ways, being used to the blessings of the day in life.  We all forget about the labor it takes to get even the food on our plates, and few of us even know the origins and workings of our electronics, the resources, the water—yes, water, used to make chips in your PC, water that becomes polluted.  And what it takes for electricity alone.  And my phone’s touchscreen is covered with smudges.



How timely this is, that my 31st birthday is only a few weeks away, and I’ll be largely in the dark again.  Apart from gahd-awful cable news.

It’s not literally Dark Ages stuff here.  But in a way, it is, that the pests have a higher chance of carrying on than me.  The likely reality’s that this end of the family tree ends with me, how vulnerable, weak and dependent I am.  I too often scream muffled cries for help

Oh, there is hope for better days.  Unfortunately, my dreams—even my dreams now are warning me about my incompetence.

Anyway, I’ll check in when I can.  The Contact page is there in case anything serious happens too. …Maybe if WordPress didn’t subject us with so much code overhead, this wouldn’t be happening.  (Okay, it’s not quite right to complain about a service you haven’t paid into.)

Now, before I go, I just want to thank the people that have been reading this far.  My writing voice is heavily-edited that my fears don’t get the best of things.  I know very little of what I put up here actually resonates, and I know people are busier than ever, but thanks for making it clear that I’m not alone.  It goes a long way to know that this hasn’t been for nothing.  No milestones, just gratitude.

Thank you.