Tag Archives: aloneness

Summer zombie

(Jun 21 7:01 p.m.)

Nothing good happens at 2 in the morning… but here I am, a zombie.  My sleep schedule is… not so much a schedule.  But I am getting some sleep.

(Jun 21 7:02 p.m.)

It’s hard to get anything done these days, tired in some way or another.  And then… I have nothing to do.  For days on end.

(Jun 14 5:46 p.m.)

But that’s not true.  There are still things I ought to take care of; I just hate being alone.

Life is tough, but it is never pointless.  It’s going the same direction too far that winds up a dead end.  I’m in need of interaction, and with substance, but I lack substance.  Either everyone’s busy or I seem to mess up the equilibrium of things.

(Jun 21 7:02 p.m.)

Nevertheless, it is officially summer in the U.S.  And a mild summer so far, hitting maybe 84°F in the week, and getting down to the 60s at night. Continue reading Summer zombie

I don’t want to die alone.  There, I said it.

Finally.  And it only took several days of drafts for other things that eventually got scrapped to reach this point.

Yeah, yeah— I know most people would say they don’t want to die alone either.

…Should I say more?

It’s been over a year since I kicked off a larger presence, and… emotionally “cratered” over how I saw myself, and faced a near-black hole of aloneness.

Continue reading I don’t want to die alone.  There, I said it.

Forgetting, Forgotten

As my right hand is busy doing “paperwork,” I might as well type with my left this post.  I’m a multitasker.  And an idiot.  Too bad I can’t Alt-0146 those curly quotes.

Anyway, this is a story of how I may be getting dementia.  Either from the sleep-deprivation or…something—I’m currently forgoing (back to) sleep typing this because of how long it takes me to write; I’m an actual Slow-Man (not to be confused with Slo-Man, who wrote a pretty funny post in May)…

I’ll take you back, all the way back—way, way back to when you were in diapers.  It was 2010, and the standard kerosene heater was no longer working.  It would be an expensive job, getting parts for a model no longer sold.  And so, the thing wouldn’t be effectively fixed.  It didn’t used to plume out a big puff of smoke into the living room, but at this point it did.  Over $1,300 to get it working again?  And I would have to hold my breath, or go to another room or the window?

Your traditional electric heater—or, a couple of them would replace the K1 heater.  Well, actually, there are two K1 heaters—the other one purchased during a black-out, and hadn’t worked at all in the house, only posing a forever-fire hazard and smell of kerosene in the house, just sitting there…the electric K1 heater is the one out of service.

Continue reading Forgetting, Forgotten