Ratfish

(Jul 1 4:51 p.m.)

So I managed to attend Saturday group.  It seemed more welcoming this time around, and I responded to questions from across the room, though few.  I know it doesn’t sound like much of an accomplishment to speak up, but it was better than not responding at all, which happened in a past month… probably last year.

God, so much time has passed so fast.

(Jul 1 4:51 p.m.)

Time becomes a blur when you avoid the difficulties of the day.  But I know time isn’t lost; the memories can become compartmentalized, harder to access when less involved or interconnected.

(Jul 1 2:42 p.m.)

During break, virtually everyone left the room.  Some walked outside; I did just that.  It was an opportunity to get better, newer photos of the park area.

(Jul 1 2:43 p.m.)

The planted flowers were particularly vibrant.

(Jul 1 2:50 p.m.)

One of the members decided to sit on a bench, after walking around talking to himself (something I can relate to).

(Jul 1 2:49 p.m.)

Being outside, it was also an opportunity to exercise.

Facing front. (Jul 1 2:56 p.m.)

I noticed the 5 MPH speed limit sign had been painted over; it wasn’t 5 MPH when it was fabricated.  One of the people I walked past on the sidewalk adjacent to the city street was aided and apparently blind.

(Jul 1 2:49 p.m.)

One man (obscured in the photo) sat on the steps to the entryway of a building.  I don’t remember if he was smoking or not… or whether there was some kind of cigarette disposal unit in the walk area.  I don’t know.

(Jul 1 2:43 p.m.)

Inside the gazebo, I found hooks (too much exposure contrast for a photo— hooks came out black).

(Jul 1 2:44 p.m.)

And of course the bulb in the ceiling to light the gazebo at night.

(Jul 1 2:48 p.m.)

And an unusual-looking plant right outside the small structure.

Bird bath. (Jul 1 4:52 p.m.)

The introductory topic at group was plans for the summer, vacation, etc… which didn’t quite fit my current life because the rest of the world is so out of reach.  I’ve only been out -of-state a few times in my life and never outside of New England.  I know I don’t need to plan anything elaborate to have fun… but I don’t really have the money or the connections to decide.

(Jul 1 4:51 p.m.)

Now… you may be wondering about the fish or why I titled the post “Ratfish.”

(Jul 1 4:51 p.m.)

Well, the Barron Center has an aquarium.  That explains the fish part.

(Jul 1 4:52 p.m.)

Okay, so there’s more to it than that.

If you didn’t already know, I’m a Pisces— the fish zodiac sign. It’s a sign that makes me kind of related to Albert Einstein, Rihanna… and Justin Beiber.  Okay, so you can ignore the last one.  According to Zodiac Fire, the Pisces is: quality over quantity, empathetic, intuitive, a dreamer and, as someone who loves deep connection, “a total sucker for romance.”  But on Saturday, a new dimension was added to the mix when the remainder of the group and I went to dinner.

Kari-Out. (Jul 1 5:35 p.m.)

The Chinese zodiac!  I had about forgotten about the papers (place mats?) put on the tables.  This wasn’t the first time the group went to Wing Lee.  And it wasn’t the first time I ordered the chicken lo mein.  (Picking the same food avoided the struggle of indecisiveness… a flaw of the Pisces.)  The older gentleman of the group got to know that lobster sauce doesn’t contain lobster, and the older woman ordered tofu, which tastes like… the sauce that was added to it.

Image source: dishmaps.com.

Anyway.  According to the Chinese zodiac chart, I am also a rat.  Or a wood rat:

“Not nearly as self-confident as they appear on the surface. … successful despite their perpetual fear of failing. … Wood Rats enjoy being with friends and family and fortunately for them, feelings of love and respect are mutual.”

Move over catfish.  I’m a ratfish.

Okay, so it doesn’t sound that great.  But when you put it together, I’m an empathetic and intelligent dreamer who’s ambitious and… seldom makes life-long friends.

According to the chart, I am also at odds with the Horse, the sign that goes with my faraway friend.  We are attracted by traits spelled out in the astrological signs, but on a practical level, underlined with the Chinese signs… friendship is enough.  Still, I feel awful for the amount of space she’s been giving me for the last two months.  It’s a long story… but let’s just say too much silence can be painful, and I begin to worry that she’s bottling.

(Jul 1 2:44 p.m.)

Well, I should wrap up, and get on with my day.  Or just sleep.  I need sleep.

Peace be with you all.  And happy birthday U.S. and Canada— 241 and 150 years old, respectively. 🙂

No photos of the Canadian flag, I’m afraid. (Jul 1 2:43 p.m.)
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6 thoughts on “Ratfish

    1. I’ve mentioned the state I live in quite a few times in the blog… and also the U.S. state, haha. Yeah, ya never seem to notice anyone in a gazebo. You know someone was there because of the lights put up inside for the holidays… or photographic evidence that someone was there.

      Thanks for the comment, Alice. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I guess I’ve been too distracted by your photos to have registered the Maine Thing. I love Maine; one of my brothers lives in Auburn and he arranged big family reunions at a lake near Poland (I think), where a dozen or so Henrys would hang out, fish, canoe, hike, and play board games. At a disused, repurposed boys camp. Such fun. Hey! Just thought of my next blog post. Thanks!

        Liked by 1 person

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