Normal: Organized Disorganization

[normal is boring]
Image source: lovethispic.com
May I just disagree with the above image?  Apparently, everyone’s definition of normal is different.  But to me, normal is simple but not easy to define.  Quirky is normal to me.  And given U.S. statistics, overweight is normal, right?  It’s a large range. 😉

Okay, if I was forced to give an answer, I guess I’d start with meek.  Working things out is key.  Even dysfunctional and living, beats non-functional and dying any day.

So normal is never boring in my mind.  If truth is stranger than fiction, then an individual seeking truth would never be boring.  The expression above applies to some sort of systematic dishonesty with oneself, adhering or conforming to a norm, as opposed to bringing out one’s true strengths.  Narcissism (which is certainly dishonest), and its damage aren’t normal.

As defined from a biological standpoint, “functioning or occurring in a natural way,” that normal doesn’t fit with my conduct.  I’ve let myself go.  I may have strung words together coherently here, but that doesn’t mean things are working properly.  For months, I’ve been “running on empty.”  Abnormal.

And when hope runs out, your dreams follow suit.

It’s been a while since I’ve had a vivid dream.  These days, I’ve had those typical—what’d I’d call ‘conceptual’ dreams—dealing with only elements brought to the forefront.  Of course, the subconscious plays with just about anything you throw at it, so if misconceptions arise during the day then misconceptions may show up in your dreams.

Dreaming: the side effect of the brain repairing itself during REM sleep.

Your mind serves the connections that exist.  And because memories are maintained, dreams are maintained.  Despite all that, conscious interaction can still be disorganized.

Without the vivid part, detail was fairly vague Tuesday morn.  And as with most dreams, transitions passed freely.  The next moment, students on a bus were talking, and I got the impression they were talking about the JFK assassination; the names, however, didn’t relate.  Turns out the discussed banter was…just banter.  Internalized, the voices are manifestations of the mind.  Of course.

At some point, I had an assignment.  While other students were hard at work, I was perusing websites for answers.  I found some social diagrams, perhaps from a university…and ‘quiz’ answers, for whatever unrelated purpose, in the form of selfies.  My mind then tricked me into thinking some large diagrams were Emojis.  Diagram Emojis.  (Awake, makes me think of the new #introjis.  Ugh.)

Looking outside through the window, I saw it was dark out; I realized a lot of time had passed during my internet “research.”  Even these fair dreams can get me to see my failing in life.  People have careers…I drift.  Worse, I woke up again with video games in mind.

Lemmings: features large, interactive 2-D maps formed out of texture blocks.

At least NOVA: The Great Math Mystery (Apr 15) validates video games as a reflection of our universe in action… Humans may have created and developed high-level mathematical languages, but only computer code masters the art of procedural math; video games may be simple mathematically, but unlike algebra they can really fool the player into seeing portals to universes to an extent more accessible than the every-day real-world.  They appeal that way.

In a sense, dreams can be games;
and in games, dreams.

But it’s all limited.  Dreams can only go so far in a day, and it’s certainly not normal to play games for too long.  Things fall apart without vital conduct; if you stop breathing, you die.

Okay, I’ll wrap up here.  In my interactions with people in-real-life, my impression of normal grew; people I initially found ‘weird’—turns out they were more normal than I could’ve imagined.  Yeah, imagine that.

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12 thoughts on “Normal: Organized Disorganization

  1. I hardly dream anymore, Adam. Would I be more normal if I did? My brain could repair itself and make sense of my day. Normal, whatever that is, is overrated. I think the part of myself that I like the best is not normal. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Chances are you dream more than you know but forget; memories during dream state are formed differently, versus daily habits and routines that connect to stronger ones.

      Dreams can be whatever you want them to be, even wild. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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