Shhh…

I know I’ve said it before, but writing is hard.  But in my corner, you have no idea…

I’m one of those people who get carried away, obsessed in thought.  My writing voice is far different from my speaking voice.  I haven’t been tested, and I’m not used to asking questions.  So when I force it, my voice is tiny, and I’ve written a whole bunch of crap that no one should ever read.  Even if there’s truth in what’s said, my sense of humor is missing.

Texture in destiny, heading.

I mean, WTF is that?  To be clear, this line’s from one of the early stages of one of my so-called poems.  Only I know what I meant…kind of.  But it’s part of the writing process, where you figure things out for yourself so you can rewrite it better, right?

But still, I’m not a real writer.  Besides dreams, of…dragons, and hypothetical murder of…tiny avatar people—I have no imagination. …So I’ve written poetry.  Whatever translates more effectively, right?

I especially suck when it comes to nonfiction.  Turn for the worse, recently, I’m holding myself to extra scrutiny.  Basically, I’ve shut my mouth.  I published my first Private post; and counting those I’ve trashed, the total number of posts has already passed 300. …I still end up putting my foot in my mouth.

Lord forgive me, what I’m about to do…

It’s a bit of a struggle to explain exactly why people haven’t really talked about the Affordable Care Act.  I only bring this up because of Doobster’s ACA birthday post, and my response, where I could not face his reply…and a response post by IB to his.  And another string of replies with that.  It goes on and on, and the only thing I could really say, as to why people haven’t really talked about ACA is: it’s not fun.

I had to stick this post into the Chaos and Banter category, because…ughhhhhhhh.  Some people just lose themselves in the motions & emotions.  And once it’s settled, it’s there forever.  Old habits never die.  It’s literal hell to pay in the attempt to change minds.

Well, statistically, 9 out of 10 people return to their habits within a year.

SHHhHhHhh!!!…

I don’t need anymore statistics!  Statistics do not define life!…(panting)…

…I would cite another example, where the cluster-flux of “facts and stats” have turned someone over to the darkness…but I can’t go there.  It’s not funny.  I can only hope things’ll turn around…

I had to stop with politics altogether because of all the evil that permeated.  And you know when you feel it—fear, negativity, obsession and blame.  And by proxy, the guilt wears you down.

It took the events of 2014 to get me to actually see…blogging, fun; engaging, effective.  Actual writing.

Or maybe I’m evil, and I guess it’s a good thing that this will go up on April Fools Day because people will take my words less seriously, right?  (I mean, besides the fact that I am seriously pathetic?)

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3 thoughts on “Shhh…

  1. Not pathetic, Adam, not at all IMHO. I think it takes a certain amount of guts NOT to get drawn into some of the crazy back-n-forth on controversial subjects. Opinions are like assholes, after all.
    I will admit I don’t always understand your poetry, but it is one of those things that is exceptionally personal and subjective – there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! Poetry meanings and intentions from history are continually debated today, so I’d say you’re in good company 😉
    You keep being you. Those of us who appreciate you will keep on appreciating.

    Liked by 1 person

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