Doomed

[uninspiration point]
It’s do or die time. …And I can’t quite do anymore.  So I’m dying.

I did, however, use my image editing skills to fill a hole that appeared on the bottom-right for the image above, a hole produced in rotating it… That took too long.  Much the same went with the No One Can Save You image, though all four corners were filled with that one.  This time I performed some color correction so the image would check out in HSV mode.

Yeah, so I’m a fraud.  I don’t experience things, I preoccupy myself.  I procrastinate.  I embellish nonsense.  I flatter with imitation, and I play video games…and cheat in said video games.

And now my body is falling apart faster than ever.  Without respite, my brain doesn’t work.  My imagination isn’t there, and my dreams are easily forgotten.  Factor in that non-life experience, and how the @$%# can I write?

Writers have words that need to come out.  The words desperate to come out of me now are: “get me the hell out of here.”

Impossibly black coffee
Impossibly black coffee

There’s little left of me to call myself anything anymore.

…So if we were having coffee, I would be a completely different person, because I don’t drink coffee.  The same goes with being a writer; that’s really not me.  If that’s even possible.

Now, if you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, and I bet you haven’t, I tore myself away from blogging to complete Doom 64 again, start to finish.

Okay, it’s 2 p.m. Sunday here.  Pray that I don’t die in my sleep.  Nah, I’ll live.  More miserable and blind than ever.  Good night.

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18 thoughts on “Doomed

  1. I don’t want to like this post and leave, so I want to leave a comment. But I don’t know what to say other than your post really moved me. I don’t know what you’re going through and I can’t relate. But for what little it’s worth, this is me giving my support.

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  2. That the beauty and the irony of writing, as you say you are not a writer, eloquently and painfully in this post, you did in fact become a writer! You have identified your problems, now it is time to solve them.

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  3. But you wrote this blog post. You were saying you weren’t a writer while writing that you weren’t a writer.

    Sounds like a writer to me. 🙂

    So….
    Go get yourself a virtual cup of tea.
    Pretend that you are sitting next to me,
    and we can talk all night long about
    how screwed up every writer tends to be.

    Hmmmm….I think I just wrote the next poem for my blog. Thanks. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. But… This post proves that you ARE, in fact, a writer! You sound very depressed 😣 I notice when you are gone, actually.

    About you feeling like a fraud… Sometimes I feel that way. I see people “liking” my posts and I wonder if I met these people in real life if they’d actually like me. And I think, “Nah, probably not.”

    It’s such a weird disconnect, isn’t it? We reveal our soul through our writing and that is probably the “real” us, but our corporal life seems to be telling a lie.

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  5. Hey, I missed you, you writer you. I feel your pain, since I too am a writer. Though not of books. Now I not only miss you, I admire you. (Don’t get nervous; I’m old enough to be your mother) And if it helps, just remember that we’re ALL dying. Life is, um, terminal.

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      1. I guess I have to call them. I keep fixing it (or so it seems to me when I check it), but you’re not the first person who’s told me it’s not fixed (!)

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      2. A-hah! Figured it out. Tho I am known as Lutheranliar, my site address is alicewhitmoresblog.com. (About two years ago I made a false start at blogging with the site you found, then deleted it.) apologies for the confusion, but I am grateful that you found me, and that you told me of the situation. Perhaps I can contact WordPress and ask them their advice, since you are not the first blogger who has followed this dead end. I want to cause smiles, not frustration (!)

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      3. Finally fixed this (thru help from WordPress forum) Thx again for bringing this to my attention. My blog is fairly new, and I can’t afford to frustrate my (few) readers. Enjoy your weekend!

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