I Take it Back

Life is cruel.  At least for me.

Don’t Blink

Tuesday, I had to go through another day of an eye-lid infection (from what I can tell) to which a little bump, swelling or whatever, is up against the eye.

It’s painful.  You are, in effect, forced to keep the eye open, or else.

You can try to tolerate it, but eventually you can’t.

The only time I went to a doctor over this kind of thing, it was reduced to ‘foreign object’— an eye lash.  Or rather, one of the lashes that roll around in there … not causing this kind of pain!

This came at a bad time.  (As if— a ‘good time.’)  I was especially tired, only getting four hours sleep after being up for too long.  In other words, you can’t help closing your eyes.

This kind of thing is the most cruel: what’s in your nature, to close your eyes, over tire, over pain.  It’s ironic.  In attempting, at first, there’s oscillation; trying to open, something that prompts a close, with more pain.

This all adds to my blindness too.  Too much tearing affects the cornea, harms focus.  The eye is already blurry enough that I can’t really read text with it.  There’s sort of an extrapolation factor with that— the brain having to process a blur.

BC, pink eye

Bob Costas’ pink eye pales in comparison.  I’ve dealt with that, the infection of the conjunctiva that yields some inflammation.  But that’s irritation, not some bump on the lid feeling like it’s scraping the eyeball.

The Lesson?

There is no legitimate learning lesson here.  To call it ‘discipline’ would be a perversion; it works against nature and working order.  It’s bad, it’s wrong.

And in knowing of no one else having dealt with it, it’s cruel and unusual.

…But no worse than the internet: silence; any expectations, too high; engaging for absolutely nothing that counts; dealing with people who have trouble with reality; a sick joke, almost always, whatever it is.  Realized in the 1970s, reduced to por n and cat videos.


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