Late to actually read the whole duck soup post “We Watched this Crap” (Sonya, and Ben from Ben’s Bitter Blog both did short reviews of what they took as bad movies), because I’ve been busy working.
I gave my opinions on the ones I’ve seen (or at least heard) here. Not that I should, but…
I actually have my own separate list of movies— short takes, but the list is pretty long— forty-five titles, and counting. I hate that I have to break these things up.
Oh, and R.I.P. Roger Ebert, who passed away yesterday morning at the age of 70.
Okay… sixteen titles (twenty-one total mentions) that don’t intersect with that forty-five… recount— fifty titles, had The Watch in list.
Man on Fire (2004, R, by the late Tony Scott): not horrible, but… yes, “violent-boring-long” actually matches what I felt watching it.
And…the character you just got to know is k—whoop, almost spoiled it.
Not one of Denzel Washington’s best choices. Or Dakota Fanning’s, for that matter.
Whipped (2000) and Mr. Wrong (1996): why? Oh, why did they have to make these movies?!…
Oh, yes— Mr… Wrong.
The Watch (2012, R): a raw Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and company movie that resorted to “jacking dicks” by the end— where the aliens’ brains are, to kill them; very funny, ha, ha. (I mean that sarcastically—weak).
Many critics found the “British Black Man,” who can also be seen on Adult Swim, to actually save this movie…
Volcano (1997, PG-13): scientifically plausible…ish— eh, it’s full of crap. There’s a lot of action that at times comes close to ripping off Earthquake.
I ended up having more a crush on actress Gabby Hoffmann than I gave a crap about the movie… just a 1990s movie.
Catwoman (2004, PG-13): clearly one of the worst movies of all time. Difficult to place a rating without giving it an F. Not quite seen, but heard in the other room— attrocious dialogue, if I can remember…
Even the ending is bad, Berry with whip, on an unrelateable note—saw that on TV, as the network wisely ran through the credits at high-speed.
[The] Wicker Man (2006, PG-13): I actually saw this. It shows more of Nic Cage’s overacting than anything else. Yeah— a (stressing) comedy of sorts. And nowhere near original. (The 1973 original was loaded with nudity, yet rated
PG. No, rated R according to IMDb. But I swear I saw PG when I caught it. A glitch?)
If you want to see Cage’s acting ability, look for the one where he plays an addict of a… cop? Things hilariously go bad but work themselves out…
Island of Dr. Moreau (1996, PG-13): difficult for me to watch too. Interesting thought of putting those that liked it on such an island. But that would suck. Just as the movie sucked.
Ugh, it’s painful just thinking about it.
Momento (2000, R, by Christopher Nolan): great movie— told in reverse, as the lead is manipulated. You never see the end (beginning) coming. Truly surprising and worth the ticket price (actually went to physically see it in the theater!). One of Guy Pearce’s break-out roles.
If you liked this, you might also like 21 Grams (2003).
[The] Devil’s Advocate (1997, R): a twisted ride with some nice dialogue and a lot of subtext. Unlike Ben, I found it to be unapologetically worth watching. “It’s my time now.”
“Bill & Ted could never be lawyers.” LOL! Stoner lawyers! Now that might make for an interesting movie… or too much like that TNT show with Zac_ from Saved By the Bell.
And since Curnblog (James Curnow) gave some sort of thumbs up with/after The Dark Knight Rises post, I might as well rate some of his selection too.
I mean, I can sleep when I’m dead, right? (Yeah, I also saw that Left Behind movie.)
And 2001 rendered a Space Station well— made before the moon landing! Don’t do drugs— watch this trippy movie, and Sunshine (2007, with Cillian Murphy) instead!
(Or do all three— I don’t care anymore.)
RoboCop (1987) was pretty damn funny, political commentary et al— I mean, the way bodies just exploded like virtual blood bags on the windshield of a car (without gratuity). They don’t make movies like that anymore. They instead make awful ones that miss the mark, like Dredd.
And Repo Man (1984) should have never been remade into Repo Men— such a bomb. Man (the original) is worth checking out. It’s slow, though.