Back to Silence

As you may not know, and only because (and why bother again since it doesn’t change): it is my birthday today.  I am now one year from 30.  But I also know a la the Merlin project that major game changing activity during this time is not a good idea.

I have been rather silent for a long time (and not just for the past week), and why that is starts with that old saying.

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.  But I’m more one to appreciate honesty— one to say let loose, and just be frank to the point of constructive criticism.

Unfortunately, I was wrong on so many things.  My honesty would prove problematic, and so much so, perceived deadly (to me).

So, as of recent, I came to express the correction—what lead to my kind of silence (and inappropriate behavior) here and there—in English: if you can’t say anything right, don’t say anything at all.  It is, in essence, a form of discipline.

It is, however, not a very good form of discipline.  It is in a way, complacency.  Good discipline is silence while working.  I’ve instead been watching TV ever since cable was restored on Academy Awards Sunday.

I’ve done all my so-called writing work on paper.  No typing whatsoever.  This post was done live and from scratch.

Avoiding work on the PC deemed dishonest and all of the trash on TV this time, it can only barely be considered work taking only what’s right in the content of the day.  Getting to watch Gandhi (1982) and other great movies on TCM isn’t enough, however.

But at least I’m naturally keeping myself from venturing off into the wrong.

It took eleven years to really go no where, but at least I realize so.  Just as everything I’ve done online carries a multitude of mistakes, at least I realize them and welcome repairs.

But I have to continue to do what’s right at some level, and work on raising the level.  And that’s difficult, especially for me.

I have an inconsiderate impatience where I forget, and a helplessness as result of my lack of work and clarity.

For another time, I will explain not spin.


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